This week will mark the 3rd anniversary of the band. February 20th 2016 I played our first gig as Amanda Webb Band at the now closed, Jordy's Irish Pub in Columbus, IN. I really had no idea what I was doing then, and the more I learn, I realize...
I still have no idea.
What am I DOING?
That's a question I ask myself all the time. Here's a few of the answers I've come up with:
I'm having fun! True. Playing music and connecting with an audience is stunningly fun. But seriously- all the booking, and promoting, and organizing, and finding players, and hauling 5 tons of equipment, driving, exhaustion, and crazy drama that goes with this- I should have my brain evaluated if this is fun.
I'm making a little extra money! True. Sometimes- we do get paid. And as long as we don't create a proper profit and loss sheet detailing the amount of money spent to do the gig in the first place we'll be perfectly happy with this answer. So... down with taxes and facing reality!
I have a creative outlet! Well, kind of. I write and record original music. But I'll tell ya, when we play a show, the audience is never happier than when we play a mainstream top 40 tune. Making the party happy usually trumps the singer/songwriter show.
I'm spending quality time with friends- it's my date night with Brian! True. We usually get dinner at the bar. But, I'm pretty sure if we didn't have a show we'd still spend time together, and since Brian cooks like a boss we'd be eating fine. Maybe better?
So the only real answer I can come up with for WHY?
Why I would abandon my kids, spend long grueling hours rehearsing, booking, and promoting, invest my life savings in something high risk and low yield, drive myself into mental and physical exhaustion....
Love makes us crazy. We do crazy things, and make decisions that are illogical and sometimes irrational. We go the extra mile. We wear ourselves out because we get energized by the love we give. Love makes us extravagant, like lavishing expensive gifts with no official occasion. Love makes the most difficult tasks enjoyable, and makes us forget hardship. I'm positive there are easier ways to have fun, and make money, be creative, and spend time with friends. But I'm in love with the music, and the stage, and the performance. I have been my whole life. It's the lifeblood of my soul in a beautiful dance.
Sometimes, it loves me back. Mostly it's just ambivalent. Either way I can't help myself. For better or for worse...
It's always the music for me.
Here's a toast to Crazy Love.